Why my brother was always in charge of mowing the lawn

Today I thought I'd be an awesome wife and responsible homeowner and mow the lawn. I decided I'd start with the backyard, since it needed the most attention.
I put Addie down for her nap, broke out my "yard work" sneakers, revved up the lawn mower and got to work.
About half way through my manual labor, I got the wheel of the mower tangled up on our fence (which I have done at least once before). I killed the engine and went to examine my snafu. I decided I could remove the mower by just slipping the wheel off the wire coiled around it. While executing my plan, my m-fing hand slipped and wrapped itself around the extremely toasty mower muffler (at least my brother-in-law Rick said it was the muffler, what do I know?).
Um. OUCH.
I spent the next three hours of my day with my crispy hand under cool running water or wrapped in cold compresses. I eventually went to CVS and bought Lanacane...er, heaven in a tube.
The salve has been a godsend. It has taken the throbbing pain that radiated up my arm away. My hand is no longer swollen, and in all honesty, my big bad burn looks a little wimpy.

Morals of the story:

• Don't be a model homeowner.
• Learn to make a turkey potpie to prove worth as a wife.