Ridiculously Ridiculous

I woke up Monday, still battling the snarfily, gargily, phlegm-filled cold that has been kicking my ass for the past week. I am over coughing. I am done with not being able to breathe. I hate my raw, chapped nose. I am practically in a Sudafed, Benedryl, Advil coma. I decided it was in my best interest to stay home from StrollerFit and not spread my typhoid germs to the rest of the moms and babes.

Instead, I had the genius idea of taking Andy's car to get tuned up and get the out of state inspection that is necessary to get our Ohio plates.

[Don't even get me started on the four week debacle it has been to make the damn car legal in Ohio.]

So I packed up kiddo, we headed fifteen minutes down the road to our service appointment. No big deal.

Over four and a half freaking hours later we made it back home.

The dealership did the inspection in about six seconds and said the tune up would take a half hour-ish. I asked Mr. Dealership Man (MDM) to please check out our front passenger tire, as it seemed to have a slow leak. Thirty minutes later MDM informs me that both of our front tires are sad little pieces of rubber. The leaky one was too worn to patch and the other was practically bald. I okayed the replacement of both tires. At that point MDM informs me that replacing them will take about 90 minutes and their shuttle could bring us to the local mall to pass the time.

Technically, this is a great idea. We get out of the skeezy customer lounge and get to enjoy some pure suburban shopping. Realistically, I didn't put the stroller in the car and this could be a disaster.

Addie and I walked the pleasantly empty mall. We stopped in Gymboree and spent unnecessary money. We perused Payless. We checked out the bookstore. We rode the elevator. Twice.

We took a ride up the escalator. We ate chicken nuggets and french fries at Chick-fil-a. Addison rode the train in the food court. We looked in store windows. We avoided Cinnabon and Starbucks for fear that the sugar and caffiene may cause me to implode and her explode.

We found the Easter Bunny. And the obligatory mall fountain.

From a distance, and even up close, the Easter Bunny was pretty cool. He was a life-sized fuzzy freaking bunny. He waved. He nodded his head. He held Addie's hand. All was cool between them. Until, of course, I paid for her to sit on the damn thing's lap and take a picture.

Not one smile. Not even a smirk or a twinkle in the eye. In fact she teetered on the edge of the slow panic cry.

Of course we had to spend twenty minutes waving buh-bye to the bunny and blowing him kisses. Love from a distance, $22 worth of frown captured by the camera.

After the bunny, Addie spied the fountain. It was splashy, and cool, and pretty and FULL OF PENNIES. She wanted in that thing so bad it was ridiculous. She stretched and reached and climbed and tried so darn hard to fall head first in, but her mean mommy wouldn't let her.

And of course my thwarting those efforts ended in a fabulous public meltdown complete with blubbering, laying on the floor and flailing legs. Awesome.

I am willing to bet that even more than wanting to splash in the water, my little Alex P. Keaton wanted to scoop up those pennies, shove them in her pocket and get home to her piggy bank. She is so much more fiscally responsible than me.

After three hours of walking and shopping and a few minor tantrums later, the shuttle picked us back up and brought us back to the car. I slapped $400 worth of service on plastic, buckled up my baby and headed off to make our car legal in Ohio.

I know, I was playing with baby-fire, but I am brave like that.

No worries, when I got to the DMV I was told by those-who-are-in-charge that I either needed a) Andy with me or b) need a Power of Attorney from him to get the stupid license plates. So I buckled my baby back up, and headed home. Screw being legal.

And she passed out.

And I watched Oprah.

And cursed being in charge of the cars, but rejoiced in the fact that I baked apple squares last night...and ate one or three too many.

And I have yet to shower, but I did manage to brush my teeth.