Monday, October 19, 2009

Sean + Ali = Vomit

Let's start at the very's a very good place to start....

Almost two weeks ago I checked off the travel list:
Portable DVD player. Check.
Bag full of toys. Check.
Healthy snacks. Check.
Packed suitcases. Boarding passes. Check, check.

Off Addie and I flew to New England for nine autumn days with Gramma. Four planes later, we're back at home, readjusting to sleeping schedules and wishing Gramma was still around to change diapers and pour wine.

I mentioned last week that there are tales to be told...and the first one has very little to do with Addie. Nope this one is all about me, my poor decision making ability and my questionable choices in friends.

After arriving at Gramma's, late in the night, Addie wrapped herself around giraffe and snuggled up in the port-a-crib, snoozing blissfully until morning. On Friday we putzed around and lamented a rainy day, but I knew that rain was not going to ruin my plans. See, luckily for moi, two very good friends of mine live about 45 minutes from Mom, in Albany, New York. She is there finishing her ER residency and he is there desperately trying to figure out a way to get fired from his job. They're both counting the seconds until they can return to sweet home Chicago.

Ali drove over the mountains and met me at the outlets for some shopping before we headed back to their place for some drinks, dinner and fun. Addie kissed me goodbye and mom practically shoved me out the door in anticipation of one-on-one time with her littlest lady. Freedom.

Ali and I shopped and chatted and shopped some more. We drove to Albany, with my overnight bag, and uncorked some wine. We ate cheese, laughed, had a martini, laughed. We watched Sean make us dinner and we plotted our night ahead.

Dinner was lovely - rosemary roasted potatoes, smoked beer butt chicken and salad. Our martinis gone, we delved into two bottles of red from their impressive arsenal of wine. We laughed at each other and with each other and at our shared friends. It was lovely. By 11:45 I was in bed...In my pjs under the covers. Honk shoo honk shoo.

When I woke up I was groggy and had a bit of head ache, but okay. I showered, took up residence on their couch and waited for our day to start. Big plans for burgers and bloody marys were awaiting....but first....I hurled.

Yep. I christened their toilet in their newly refinished bathroom. Embarrassing? Yes. Par for the course if I have a tad too much to drink these days? Yes.

Hurling done, I was ready for lunch and feeling great.

Then the waitress but my burger down in front of me. I got a little hot feeling. I could hardly bare to smell or look at it. I excused myself to the oddest bar bathroom ever (all covered in chrome, mirrors and yellow) and I hurled some more.

Yep. I hurled in a public place. A lot. Did I want to hide my face? Yes. Was I a little more than embarrassed? Yes.

It was time to trek back to the Berkshires - I was feeling good enough and thinking about the mimosas Ali and I would sip. We got in their new car. It was shiny. It smelt like new car. It had all sorts of fancy buttons and screens - and I hurled again. In a bag, in their car, as we were heading to I-90.

Mortified. Check.

And then again, 5 miles from my Mom's house. And then two more times in the house I grew up in. I was feeling a little icky but overall decent, talking and laughing, and then bam - hurling. My stomach rejected Friday night's fun, three bites of a burger, a Pepcid and bottles of water.

I was BROKEN. While curled in a fetal position, demanding Ali use her doctor skills to fix me, I surrendered my rock star card.

Once and forever.

The days of mixing alcohol - gone. The days of drinking multiple martinis - gone. The days of bouncing back - gone. The days of being awesome - gone.

I say it loud and I say it proud - I am a Mommy NOT a rock star.

Ali and Sean broke me. Maybe permanently. But that isn't really the big story about those 36 hours - the big story is that Addison made a decision on Friday night that has pretty much changed my entire world.

But more on that later.


LMK said...

you just described most the saturdays of my early 20's... oh and love the suspense building!

Bertophilippe said...

You are Freakin RIDICULOUS! I know... I know... last time I saw you, I was spouting off about how great a writer you were, but I swear, if you ever leave a post like that again?!

WTF... What did Addie do? Speak Japanese... Operate on Chemo... base jump off of the house?! C'mon!!!!

Hilarity...thx for the laughs.

TKW said...

Dear God, I hear you. I absolutely never learn though, because at least once a year, I think I can party like Lindsay Lohan and it takes me, like, a week to recover.

Kate C. said...

So you are turning in your rock star card for real?

Aren't there about 4-5 other posts about how you were turning in your rock star card for good?? I am not sure if I am buying it. I am going to wait for the post around the holidays about the rock star card.

Also, please update. I agree with Berto, what did Addie E do? Lose a tooth? Get admitted to Harvard? Sign a modeling contract?

Christin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Papa said...

That's why it's better to just smoke weed when you have kids--much easier to laugh at all their (insert adjective) behavior.