Wednesday, September 21, 2011

12 Step Mornings


Step One:  Morning sweetie.  Did you sleep good last night?  What?  The pillow stealing monkies were in your room again?  Sure you can sit with me.  Let me see the weather - okay, one more minute and you can have a cartoon.  One cartoon today - we have to get ready for school.  What?  Yes I'll pause it while you go potty.  Babe please go back and flush and turn off the light.  Yes you can still sit with me - when this cartoon is over we need to have breakfast.

Step Two:  Don't forget to give Daddy his hugs and kisses.  Yes, I'll pause your cartoon.  Sure you can help Daddy out - don't forget shoes!  Okay, kiddo close the door.  Yep, he's gone.  I don't know why he didn't stop at the stop sign, ask him when he gets home.  Seriously, kiddo, close the door, it's almost time for breakfast.

Step Three:  Eat your breakfast.  No, babe please don't feed it to the cat, you need to eat your waffle.  Addie are you done yet?  Come on, you can finish one waffle.  Did you just dip your marker in your milk??  No, Addie, that's gross. No, milk does not taste better when it's purple.  Okay, two more bites and put your dishes in the sink.

Step Four:  Get dressed.  Really it's time to get dressed.  Please go upstairs and change - your pjs go on their hook and your dirty undies go in the dirty clothes bin.  Addie!  Upstairs now please, stop trying to pick up the cat.  The cat is FINE - clean. clothes. now.

Step Five:  Are those undies clean?  Good.  Why are your dirty undies and pjs on the floor.  Come on, kiddo, let's go.  Pjs on the hook and undies in the dirty clothes bin.  While you're at it can you please pick your clothes up off the floor from last night?  Our dirty clothes always go in the orange bin or down the laundry chute.  Yes, everytime.

Step Six:  What do you think is next?  Well what do we do every morning?  Right - brush your teeth. Yes, I'll help you with the toothpaste.  I don't know where your Ariel toothbrush is - just use your SnowWhite one.  SnowWhite if fine, Addie.  No, Ariel does not get your teeth cleaner.  Oh MY GOSH, just start brushing.  Up and down, front and back.  Okay, rinse and spit.  Wipe your face off too, please.  Addie!  Why is your toothbrush on the stairs?  Please put it where it belongs.

Step Seven:  Have you brushed your hair?  You did?  Good job, but I think we missed some spots, can I help? Do you want braids, pigtails or a headband this morning?  Pigtails?  Okay - SORRY sweetie, it's really tangled.  Pigtails done - you want what?  A bow in front for decoration?  Okay.

Step Eight:  Time to make your bed.  No, I made it for you yesterday, you can do it today. Okay, I'll help, but really you can do it on your own.  What do we do first?  No - we need to pull up the sheet and then the cover.  Okay, good job.  Put all the pillows up - yes you can add as many of your stuffed friends as you want.  I think 10 is more than enough - okay.  Yep, it looks beautiful.

Step Nine:  Do you have any other jobs that you should get done?  No?  There's nothing else you need to do each morning?  Can you hear the cat meowing?  Do you think there might be a reason?  Oh yeah, she needs to be fed.  Thank you.  Sweetie, only measure to the line on the cup - she doesn't need a full bowl.  Addie, please don't add food to her water, that's gross!

Step Ten:  Okay, what do you need for school?  Do you have your coat?  Your bag?  I think they are on the hook or whereever you left them last.  Did you check your school bag - do you have the things you need?  Lunch?  Message bag?  Great, I think you're ready.

Step Eleven:  Okay let's head to the car (or carpool).  Yes you need your coat and bag.  Okay, that's enough cat kisses, let's go.  Hop up kiddo - you can buckle.  No, Addie, this is not the time to get out your markers, please get buckled.  Alright kiddo - have great day at school.  What?  No I don't think we can have a friend come over today.  Hmmmm?  Because, babe, we have things to do.  Okay, maybe next time.  You have a great day too, I love you!

Step Twelve:  Collapse into chair with bowl of cereal and decafe coffe. The day has just begun.

4 comments:

Toolio said...

This is great. It is amazing to me how much a toddler/kid can stall.

Kate C. said...

Amazing! I love it. My favorite is the "bow in the front for decoration."

Sue said...

Hilarious. THIS is what I have to look forward to?? P.S. Purple milk is totally better. We used to use food coloring in our milk and farina all the time.

Kathy said...

I'm exhausted just reading this BUT....one more time...the apple doesn't fall....