Monday, June 6, 2011


Mom, what does forgive mean?
Umm, it means to no longer be mad at someone for upsetting you. Why?
Because I forgive you.
You forgive me? What did I do to upset you?
You didn't let me go to the park, but I forgive you.

And off you flounced to play outside, so I started thinking about all of the time I have forgiven you.

For waking me up at 2:45 a.m. to tell me you're uncomfortable.
For vomiting sausage and grapes down my back.
For coloring in the back door.
For spilling a cup of milk in the car and not telling me.
For drinking my water and leaving it cloudy with floaters.
For throwing toys from one end of the house to the other.
For telling me daddy is much better cook.
For calling me a mean, old thing.
For saying eeeeewwwwww and pointing at my backside when I took off my shorts to try on a skirt in Target.
For kicking me in the shins just to see my reaction.
For informing me you wished our neighbor was your mom.
For the multitude of poop that went out your diaper and up your back.
For the stretch marks, the spider veins, the lower back pain, the 24 hours of labor.
For mistaking me for the maid and asking me if I came with the house.
For the multiplying stains my carpets.
For stepping my toes 10 tens a day and my weekly headbutt to the face.

I am sure that I am missing some major points in that list, but you just told me, rather firmly, it's time to make lunch, and I best do that so that you don't get mad at me again.


Sue said...

Ha ha! Oh such a thankless job. At least until they get old enough to realize how AWESOME their mom is. I know I did!

Kathy said...

ONE MORE TIME!!!!! The apple doesn't fall blah, blah, blah!!!!

Colleen said...

This made me laugh out loud. Thank you.

MonkeyBusiness said...

oh my gosh this list made me laugh. good work!

ck said...

I can't say for certain, but I'm pretty sure that wearing sausage/grape vomit in the name of love elevates you to the status of saint.