Tuesday, November 15, 2011

How are you?

What a loaded question that is these days.  I, of course, usually answer with a "good and how are you".  But what I am really thinking is:

Me?  I am exhausted.  I haven't slept well in months and I have months looming ahead of me without sleep.  Exhausted.

Me?  I am really, really pregnant.  I am super thankful to be carrying this baby, but my body is about done.  I am uncoordinated and waddling.  My legs feel like cement blocks at the end of the day. I can't see my pedicured feet.

Me? I am done.  Done with my aching back, my ginormous belly and swollen feet.  Done with my racing thoughts and exhaustion.  Done with uncomfortable doctor appointments and peeing in cups. I am done with bumping into things and being unable to sit comfortably at the the table...or anywhere.

Me?  I am 39 week pregnant and chasing after a four year old.  My patience is short.  I trip on toys I can't see on the floor and there is practically no room on my lap for snuggles. 

Me?  I am anxious.  I have another little girl on the way, any day now, and I worry about keeping both ladies happy.  I worry about both ladies feeling special and loved.  I worry about keeping it all together.


Don't get me wrong.  I am have an amazing support system.  I have a loving husband who cooks and does dishes and sends me to room to sleep.  I have a sweet preschooler who loves to snuggle and feel her sister kick.  I have neighbors who offer to do anything I need and a family and friends who check in with phone calls and texts and voicemails.

But me?  I am at the end of the pregnancy rope.  I have been ready to meet my little one for weeks and I am done being patient.  I am ready.  So now that I have that off my chest...

How are you?

4 comments:

Kate C. said...

So how are you? Kidding - just think you are in the home stretch!! You can do it!

Kathy said...

Keep your eye on the finish line and breatheeeeeee!

Mich said...

How am I? Well friend, I think I might be doing slightly better than you, but only slightly.

I noticed today when putting on my shoes that there is a big something in the way of bending over. I got winded walking up the stairs and I am tired and a little cranky. BUT, I just ate 4 Oreos, so things are looking a little better.

Sending you wonderful thoughts - that littlest lady is so lucky already and she isn't even here yet!

Sue said...

Even when you have a great support system, you are still allowed to complain a little!! You are doing great, hang in there!