Me: Add.i.son do NOT jump up and down on your bed. You know better.
A: Daddy says I can jump on the bed. Uh huh, Daddy says so. Yes. Daddy. Uh huh, mommy. Daddy okay.
Text message: Do you let her jump on the bed?
Text response: I tell her NOT to.
He comes home from work, before the game:
Him: Addison, did you tell Mommy that Daddy let's you jump on the bed?
A: No. I no say that, Daddy. I no jump.
Him: Addie are you fibbing to Dad and Mom?
A: No, Daddy. I no jump. No. I no say Dadddddy.
Bedtime - he's at the basketball game, I've already poured a glass of wine. Probably not my last glass of wine.
Me: Addie, go pick out two books for bedtime.
Me: No, Addie. Not three - pick two books. Two. Ad.d.ie TWO. Thank you.
A: Addie pick Curious George? Yeah, Curious George, mama.
Me: Addie, do we read Curious George at bedtime?
A: Yeassss. Daddy say...um, no. No Curious George bedtime Mama. Duckies?
Me: Make Way for Ducklings? Yes, babe, that sounds good.
A: Okay, mama. Curious George at nap tomorrow? Okay, mama. Tomorrow.
That might be my lie - she's totally not going to be at home for naptime tomorrow.