I have sat down to write a pithy entry here and a poignant entry there many times over the past several days, but I've had nothing.
Perhaps it it due to the ten days of travel. Or maybe it was the migraine that resulted in 24 hour nausea and vomiting. It could be that I had company for the weekend and one of them gave me their sinus infection. Or that state the carpets are in, or the loads of laundry, or the every day errands of life.
But most likely it's that I have been unable to find my daughter amusing lately. I left for Massachusetts two weeks ago with a three-year-old and came back with daughter in the throes of adolescence.
My days are full of huffs and tsks. There are countless eye-rolls, endless foot stomping and incalculable glares accessorized with both hands planted firmly on her bitty, little hips.
She is trying new phrases, such as: JESUS. JeeeeSUSsss. I TOLD you. Oh MY GOD. And daaaarnnnn IT!
She gives me options: Make me a peanut butter sandwich now or gimme a cookie - your choice, Mama.
Or informs me of what I have done or said wrong: Don't talk with your mouth full! Don't say shut up!* Don't you boss me.
Occasionally she reprimands me: You do that again and you go to the thinking stool or your room. I mean it, Mama. (Usually I am just breathing, and that seems to offend her sensibilities).
So, I totally get that she is testing her boundaries. She is seeing what she can get away with and what is okay. I don't need to hear that this is normal or that it's just a phase or that soon enough she'll be back to her old-self.
What I need to hear is that the little girl who listens to her aunts, obeys her grandparents, adores her neighbors and worships her teacher will one day listen to me.
Or obey me.
Or adore me.
I don't need to be worshiped - her dad covers that angle just fine.
*Aunt Kimmie tried to explain that 'shut up' can sometimes just be an incredulous statement from an adult. Addie ain't buying it.....and she LOVES catching people saying it.
And then calling them a "Mean Jean".