Tuesday, November 30, 2010

The Cat

Growing up I had three furry* pets: Ali the cat, Chemo the wonder pup and Ashes kitty. Our house always had that extra warmth of an animal - adding their meow or barks to the endless ruckus. There were moments that I am sure my mother was ready to pull her hair out - when the dog decided our family room was just as good as the back yard to pee in, or when the cats christened every carpet with hairball induced vomit. Each animal was well loved and much of my childhood memories are interwoven with one of them.


Ali was my mother's. She was the matriarch, she was composed and nurturing. She let me use her as a pillow or wear her around my shoulders as fur stole. She was around before my parents had my brother or I and she took to us well. She adjusted easily to having a crazy puppy join the family and was a sure steady presence in our lives when things were in turmoil.

Chemo was not the brightest bulb of the bunch, but she was fiercely protective and loyal to all of us. She was a runaway that crashed my sixth birthday party eating all the pizza and begging for cake. After returning her to her owners a multitude of times, we were told to keep her if she ran away again. Ten minutes later she was ours. She often got in trouble, like the time she ate a box of tampons or all the fingers off my Madame Alexander dolls or the many times she rolled in deer poop while we were apple picking. She accompanied my brother and I on our early morning paper routes. But she was truly a boy's best friend and slept each night at his feet. She was silly and affectionate and beloved.

Ashes was my baby. I picked her out of the litter of kittens that my third grade teacher's cat had. Ashes had paws that looked like mittens, which I thought was the coolest thing ever. She was mischievous - she climbed our Christmas and Halloween trees, she escaped to the backyard to chase squirrels, and once I took her for a ride in the basket of my bicycle. That ride turned out to be a very bad idea, as she jumped out of the basket and I ran her over (don't worry she went on to live many, many more years). She slept every night with me, from third grade until I left for college, curled warmly and protectively against me.

All of my childhood animals are gone now. Ali was 18 when she put down. I was in third grade, thus squashing my eight year old dreams of becoming a veterinarian. Chemo hung on through my mom's chemo therapy treatment for breast cancer and died when I was in my twenties. And good ole Ashes gave up the fight the week before my wedding. In my family, animals live a long darn time.

That is a fact that does not, in any way, bode well for my husband. Andy is many wonderful things, being an animal lover is not one of them. His family never had pets, save the goldfish Andy won at a church festival. That poor fish lasted less than 24 hours.

I knew that Andy was not an animal lover when we started dating. I knew it when we moved in together and I continuously begged for a cat. And I knew that he had not changed his mind when he gave in and, as a gift for our date-iversary, let me adopt a cat.

After a solid month of stalking the ASPCA I finally came home with Michelob Rooster - an orange tabby who was doing back flips into her bowl and who burrowed into my neck purring when I picked her up. Since bringing her home, over eight years ago she has added much to our lives - tumbleweeds of fur, mounds of vomit through out the house, endlessly loud meowing. She has no hunting instincts, so our spider population has zero fear of her. She is petrified of rain storms and she has made the mistakes once or twice of not using her litter box (i.e. when we moved here she used Andy's pool room as her personal poop pan without us knowing it for quite some time).
She is high maintenance and needs prescription food. She demands water bowls in the basement and on the first floor. If we go on vacation we pay for it when we return with 48 straight hours of mewing and obnoxiousness.
There is absolutely no love lost between her and Andy. She hisses at his empty boots and he would rather hold his hand over an open flame than have her curl up on his lap. But, the good man that he is, Andy knows that she's part of the family. He knows that she makes me happy and she makes, more importantly, Addison ecstatic.


She is Addie's very best bud. Addie uses her for a pillow, a dance partner, to play dress up. She read Mich stories and beckons her to her lap. It is Addie's job to feed Mich every day and she's the one who reminds to refresh the cat's water bowl. In the warm months they frolic outside together and in the cooler temperatures the cuddle up in forts made of blankets.
At times Addie will lose her patience with the cat's incessant meowing and often I catch a look on the cat's face that is nothing short of weariness and irritation (perhaps because she was awoken from a nap so that Addie could adorn her with clip on earrings).
But, when push comes to shove, they are buds. Addie loves her and the silly old cat loves Addie.
It was never more evident than when I went looking for the cat late Sunday night - she wasn't in any of her usually places. She wasn't curled up on the blanket box, or under the dining room table or in the wing back chair. She wasn't down in the basement shedding on the futon or purring in my lap.


No, instead I found her curled into a ball at the foot of Addie's bed with one of Addison's pajama-clad feet resting on her back. And I smiled - a little girl curled up in bed with her best furry bud - just as it should be.
*I had a Beta Fish for 8 months named Oglethorpe, who I did truly love. He got the ick and had to be flushed down the toilet. It was sad - just ask my mom who laughed.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Mothering a three year old

There are days that I wake up and wonder who's life I am living.
I am a mom.
I am defined by things that define her.
Sometimes I feel lost and overwhelmed, and other times I feel like I am rocking this mom thing. Most of the time I feel slightly bewildered, a bit anxious and a tiny bit content.
There are so many things about being a mother, particularly a mother to a three year old, that I was not prepared for. I think that I am finally learning that motherhood, if nothing else, is a constant learning curve.
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I wasn't aware of the fact that I may never get a full night's sleep again. It's not really her fault - she rarely gets out of bed once asleep. Instead it's that my mind is always on overdrive and, even with my substandard hearing, I hear every creak, idling car and bump in the night.

I had no clue that I would watch more kids programming than adult shows. I can be considered an expert on Sesame Street, SuperWhy, Dinosaur Train, Curious George, and all things Disney Princesses. I can discuss the distinct qualities of each princess at length and can find a silver lining in all their silly stories.

I didn't know I would become immune to mucus and vomit. I don't enjoy either entity, but deal with both rather well. I've been lucky enough that vomit has only occurred a handful of times, but it seems that around here, the mucus is here to stay.

I wasn't aware that I would think that looking "put together" would mean clean fleece pants, minimally stained t-shirts, mascara and chap stick. Often that is truly the best I've got.

I had no clue I'd lose my title as queen of the household due to the presence to a half-pint "benevolent ruler". Yes, I make and enforce rules. I occasionally make dinner and I usually do the household chores, but to think that I am the one who is in charge is asinine.

I wasn't aware I would worry about every cough and sniffle. Nor was I prepared for three cases of walking pneumonia in 12 months, the scheduling of a tonsil surgery or the plethora of band aids that are dispensed. I also wasn't prepared to truly believe in a mother's intuition - but every time it's been spot on.

I didn't know I'd end up raising a princess. A girly, twirly, pink clad princess. A girl who hates pants, who longs for party shoes and can't stand having sticky hands. A girl who knows how to use her pout, how to effectively bat her eye lashes and isn't above using a smile to get what she wants.

I had no clue I would make hundreds of peanut butter sandwiches, heat up a gazillion hot dogs, fend off requests for a thousand sweet treats a day. Or that my refrigerator would always house cheese sticks, strawberries, milk and pink lemonade.

I wasn't aware that I would worry, already, about school and extracurriculars and making sure that she is able to do all the things that interest her. That going to story times, signing up for gymnastics and carpooling for preschool would become a permanent part of my calendar.

I didn't think that my emotions could be so manipulated - that within one hour I could be frustrated, angry, overjoyed and amused.

I had no clue that I would want to all-out decorate for the holidays and would truly enjoy outings that revolve around pumpkin patches, tree farms and egg hunts.

Mostly, I was not prepared for being so clueless, so frequently. For needing to lean on my friends and family, for always having to ask advice. I didn't know that I would fret over tiny decisions and worry about how my choices impact her.

I wasn't aware that a squeeze from her hand, a snuggle on my lap or a simple smile could make my day.

And I had no clue that I could be so exhausted, and frustrated, and fulfilled, and hopeful all in the same moment.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Thankful Thursday

I have been away from this darn blog for over a week (and am shocked that my mother hasn't stomped her feet). I have a recap of Disney to do, and will eventually get to it...but for now ....

This Thursday I am thankful for:

Having thinned out and reorganized Addie's bins of toys in the family room. We are now down to one bin in the corner that I can barely even see anymore due to a strategically place plant.

How fast shrimp can defrost. I had planned on a roasted pork tenderloin for dinner last night and didn't realize it was frozen solid until I went to prep our meal. The quick switch? Shrimp Feta Bake with Greek green beans and garlic salad. Yum.

Getting 15 free light bulbs from our energy company. Fifteen. Free. Can't beat it!

Having a wonderful time with my family at Disney - it really was magical, not just for my kiddo, but for us too.

Getting a slight tan in the middle of November...thanks again Disney trip!

Baby blue Uggs. They are UGLY and Addie always thinks I am wearing my slippers out on errands, but they are warm and snugly and comfy.

Coffee with cream and Splenda. I don't think I could get through the day without that combination.

There being less than a week until I see my mom, feast on my brother's apple pie/cake concoction and just chill.

Addison's love of learning. Every day she sits at her table and works on her workbooks (or, according to her, homework). She traces letters, matches objects and detects rhyming words. It's pretty cool to watch.

Addison being polite enough to not ask Belle if she is a "common law princess" and instead simply hugging her and being in total awe.*
*My dumb brother-in-law has been telling Addie for the last year that Belle is not real princess - she isn't royalty and she never married the Beast and therefore is simply a common law princess. Try explaining common law to a toddler...awesome.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

I want

That attitude, er Additude, that I wrote about a while back, seems to have taken up permanent residence in my sweet baby. Only now it is coupled with the endless soundtrack of I want I want I want.

I want a treat.
I want that cool thing.
I want those princesses.
I want this.
I want that.
I want it because it's all so beautiful.
I want it and I'm gonna ask Santa for it.
I want those because they're sparkly.
I want these because they are my perfect size.
I want this and that and those and these and MORE.

At just over three years old, she has managed to submerge herself completely the consumerism of Christmas.
She seems to think that anything and everything she sees, she needs and wants, and must put on her Christmas list. And it's not like she lacks for anything.
The child has three sets of grandparents.
She is the only granddaughter.
She has aunts and uncles up the wazoo.
She is surrounded by adults who think she is precious and shower her in gifts and surprises just because.

I have tried to talk to her about what it means to be greedy. Or explain to her that there are little girls who do not have bins of toys, shelves of books and a closet full of dresses. We have discussed the difference between need and want. I know those are high brow concepts for a toddler, but I don't think I can stomach one more I want.

How are we going to combat her growing avarice for all things, particularly all things princess-y and sparkly?

We, in our infinite wisdom, are whisking her off to Disney World at the end of this week.

I have a feeling the I want I want I want phase is about to be totally redefined.

Ugh.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Thankful Thursdays

This Thursday I am thankful for:

Election day being over. No more commercials. No more endless prerecorded two minute messages. And a well earned win in New Mexico for the good guys and for my extremely hardworking friend.

Homemade soup and fresh egg salad sandwiches.

Midday conversations with one of my best gal pals just because we both just need to vent and chat and hear each other laugh.

Post Halloween clearance - who doesn't want a big pink spider for $1.64?

Thursday night gymnastics. I thought it would be 45 minutes each week where I would run to Target or read my Kindle or turn my brain off of "kid things". Instead I have found myself sitting on the floor in a loud gym at the YMCA being highly entertained by trampolines, balance beams and tumbling. I am particularly thankful for the thumbs up that is sent my way every time Addie learns a new trick. Afreakingdorable.
A fresh skein of soft yarn wrapped around my knitting needles - two nights of knitting and only one mistake so far.

Finding two new bottles of relatively cheap red wine to enjoy - Rave Zinfandel and The Velvet Devil Merlot. No one ever accuses me of having a discerning palate when it comes to wine - case in point, I was quaffing several glasses of wine this summer that one of my dearest friend was pouring for me. After draining another glass I gushed about how good it was and commented that it had to be at least a $30 bottle. He looked at me and flatly said "Try about $65". Whooops. The aforementioned bottles were $8.99 and $12.99 and tasted plenty fancy to me.

A neighborhood that embraces Trick-or-Treat with a potluck dinner, fire pits in driveways, haunted garages and tons of cute costumes.

Getting loving hugs and kisses not just from Miss Addie, but getting smothered in them this week by Ry, accompanied with squeals of Aunt Jess Aunt Jess Aunt Jess!

The soft purr of my fuzzball cat.
Reality checks that occur with out harsh words or anger.
Mrs. Meyers Geranium hand soap and lotion - so sweet and girly smelling.

Soft curls and flouncy dresses on her first official picture day.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

A thump in the night

I remember being slightly terrified when Addison figured out how to breach her crib. I had visions of her wandering at night, falling down the stairs and breaking something.

For the most part her wandering hasn't been a problem. Sure there have been plenty of post midnight visits to our room. There have been multitudes of times that we have had to walk her back down the hallway, blurry with our own sleep.
When we have company she occasionally comes downstairs for fear of missing out on some big event. And, in the last several weeks, almost every night there is something pressingly urgent she has to tell us.

Usually she'll call out to one of us and then say "Um. I gotta tell you a question".
We exchange a look, suppress our smiles and indulge her one question. Most likely it's a very important question like Why you eating a Popsicle? or Why Mrs. _________'s light on? or Why we didn't go to Meijer today?.
After a quick response we firmly tell her to go back to bed and remind her that she is big girl and big girls stay in bed.

Last night was one of those endless not-going-to-bed nights. She came down to tell me a question at least three times. On her last trip down both her father and I informed that it was time for bed and to not even think about coming down again. She huffed, stomped a foot and headed back up to bed.

About an hour later Andy heard a dull thump and Addie was standing in the kitchen crying for me and looking confused. Andy walked her back up to bed where she promptly started snoring.

She didn't exactly fall down the stairs, as I had been afraid of in the early days. Instead, it turns out she had fallen asleep on our bottom stair, quite obviously ignoring our firm request that she go to bed and be a big girl.
And then she must've rolled over - thus the dull thump.

Guess I was right to worry all along.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Tiny Dancer


Trick-or-Treat, when I was growing up, was always a bit of a cold affair. I had some pretty awesome homemade costumes - Tinkerbell, a carrot, a scarecrow, a pumpkin - but you would have never known it, because they were hidden beneath my bulky winter coat. Often times I had on gloves and even a hat. And by the time I was all bundled up, I usually was wearing a scowl as well.


It stunk.


Neighbors would always have to ask "And what are you, sweetie?". I would have to unzip my parka, take off my hat and try to show off my mother's creativity - while starting to freeze a bit.


So naturally when it was chilly last night I was not happy about having to add a coat to Addie's ballerina get-up. My brother laughed and mocked me declaring "You're just like mom!!"... but it was chilly and Addie already had a bit of cold. Mother knows best, damn it.


My tiny dancer was instantaneously transformed into a prima ballerina - after all, what three year old doesn't have a pink faux fur coat stashed away in the closet for trick-or-treat emergencies?